Squirrel Soup

What Up Clay

2006-09-04T18:33:00.000-05:00

A little Labor day weekend shout-out to our boy on the west coast repping the 360.

Pick and Confucius say
"Stay white, die young!"

Even Rocky had a Montage

2006-08-31T20:21:00.000-05:00

...one of the easiest questions posed to me in recent memory.

Did you miss me?

2006-08-30T18:26:00.000-05:00

In the words of Randy Quaid in Independence Day, "Hello Boys, I'm BaaaaAaaack!!"

Sorry about the absence, it really sucks trying to have a job and a life some days.

Popular theories conjured by blog readers while I was gone

1) I died - No I have not yet started my first season of College Football wagering , but a fatal heart attack could be in my near future, unless the Hedgerly's help out.

2) I was kidnapped - This was also not likely, as everyone knows how well I handle myself while drunk, ok that's not a good example. How about... I am not worth all that much money.

3) I pulled a U-turn on I-70 and was not stopped until the spike strips came out. I was then maced after a failed taser attempt on my kevlar. Confiscated were my hand guns and semi-auto rifle - That wasn't me, that was the Maurice Clarett. Remember when he made Sean Taylor his bitch. When he was mentioned in the same sentence as heisman. Although I did have my guns taken, they have been returned. How's all that working out for everybody?

No, no, good friends, I was gone because I have been busy.

But now I'm back...Because I missed the dialogue and because where else can I spit fire on a daily basis? I hope you all welcome me back with open arms. I'll be reading your blogs, responding to your comments, and doing whatever else it is that I usually do.

Without further ado I would like to ease back into my blogging with a video from a friend Evan Hughes. This is the excitement he was missing with out his Squirrel Soup.

...I guess if they let Matusow play

2006-07-24T18:32:00.000-05:00

The Legendary

2006-07-19T16:59:00.000-05:00

I am not a religious person. I haven't bought into the One God theory, I don't pray on a regular basis, and I find the whole concept of spirituality hard to apply to my life. With this said I find that there are times when a supernatural force smacks me in the face and puts me in the best mood. These instances commonly occur when I meet a gorgeous woman, have sex with said woman, watch Entourage, eat sushi and/or attend a hip-hop concert. So this coming Thursday I will again see the light.

Yes I will be rocking out at The Roots concert in 4 days. Far and away my favorite rap group, The Roots have a unique sound stemming from the two main members meeting in highschool. ?uestlove's background of being a jazz drummer, and the high energy and rebellion of Blackthought found their own sound and have been revolutionizing hip hop since. There are a couple reasons why I love The Roots. First is their label (OK PLAYER), the other artists signed there seem to be down to earth and having fun while they perform, and often collaborate with one another on several songs. This is not like other artists who listen to advisors and labels on who to collaborate with depending on who's hot at a certain time, and recording pure crap.

On the pants rating scale.....The roots are completely pantless. One of the most important commodities in hip-hop is personality. It's a part of what makes Jay-Z more celebrated than NAS,Kanye bigger than Ma$e, and Lil' Wayne more employed than whoever the fuck Young Turk is. Every person in The Roots has his or her own personality and style that they bring to the stage, for me this raises them above the rest.

This will be my fourth roots concert and I am in euphoria thinking about hearing new songs from their upcoming CD "Game Theory".

Couple of my favorite Roots songs-
Sacrifice
Guns Are Drawn
Lazy Afternoon
Don't Feel Right
Hurricane
Complexity
Break You Off
Pussy Galore

Proof Positive

2006-07-14T02:11:00.000-05:00

alot of mother fuckers think "The Hills" is real just wanted to test the waters J money wades through.

se11an : happy birthday jennifer

Auto Response from jnmorgan02 : thanks to everyone for the wonderful wishes and making me feel so loved on my birthday

jnmorgan02 : oh please your so full of shit

Must not be that easy?

Va Azzurri

2006-07-09T11:26:00.000-05:00

Just one hour before kick off of the World Cup Finals. I'm all in for the Italians today. Fuck being able to speak french. It's only gotten me laid once and she was "un poisson mort au lit"(a dead fish in bed). Hopefully Claborn has his womans France flag because I will be waving my Italia. Don't get me wrong Zidane, Henry, and Ribery have been amazing to watch lately and I'm a little worried for the outcome As soon as the game is finished savings starts for my 2010 South Africa trip.

Go ITALIA!!

7/28

2006-07-04T11:55:00.000-05:00

Hootie can we be Tubbs and Crockett for the movie premier?? I need this!

Glory days of the stache!

2006-07-01T18:36:00.000-05:00

Jesus is coming, act religious.

2006-06-24T17:04:00.000-05:00

painting by ron english

Fuck Jorge Larrionda

2006-06-18T19:23:00.000-05:00

Wikepedia
DeadSpin

2006-06-18T08:21:00.000-05:00

The AP reports that Jay-Z is boycotting Cristal... Which, of course, means that Squirrel is now boycotting Cristal. This is how the man in charge of Cristal - Frederic Rouzaud - pissed Jigga off:

In The Economist magazine,

Rouzaud said the company viewed the affection for his company’s champagne from rappers and their fans with “curiosity and serenity.”Asked by the magazine if the association between Cristal and the “bling lifestyle” could be detrimental, Rouzaud replied:“That’s a good question, but what can we do? We can’t forbid people from buying it. I’m sure Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business.”

"What are we going to pour on breasts now HOV?"

The Next Maradona's

2006-06-16T14:54:00.000-05:00

The Hand of God

I found out about 18 year old Lionel Messi 4 months ago when he and Barcelona beat Chelsea, eventually winning the Champions league against Arsenal. He played with extreme confidence and toughness in a dirty game when knocking out Chelsea(Rhonaldinho seemed to shy away, afraid to take contact . Arjen Robben received a red card for drilling Messi four yards away and he pops right back up and minutes later tears one that barley missed, hitting the crossbar. 22 year old Carlos Tevez on the other hand has been on my radar for longer. I watched him in the 2004 Olympics game and remember him tallying 8 goals (6 games) and played the biggest role in Argentina's gold medal. Since then I have only seen him on the SKY SPORTS top 10 goals of the week. He has played for Boca Junior and in In December 2004, he transferred to Sports Club Corinthians Paulista for $20 million with a five year contract worth $10 million. The highest paid for and to a player in the history of the Brazilian league.

Messi

Tevez

Cassandra, get one of these....

2006-06-15T15:45:00.000-05:00

CHAPTECHIE IS A DOUCHE

2006-06-15T14:42:00.000-05:00

So I received a comment the other day (Hills Bitch) from a guy with the name chaptechie. I checked out his site, sucks. I assumed that this is why he provides no contact information. I decided to google "chaptechie" and found that its some random douche that goes around commenting how he likes your blog. Most of the ones he'd on offered little response to him or simply pointed out his massive commenting. What they failed to realize is that he is doing it so people go to his site and click on his adds. Look at how many people have viewed his site. This guy either has no job or the most mundane ever. I will go with the assumption that he has no job and comments on blogs for a "living". I'm also going to assume that he has never had sex(animals and males excluded). I must clap back. I plan on searching for this guy's real identity and exposing him as the cock flavored lollipop he really is. Once I have done this I may make him eat his parents, well maybe just post his name, address, e-mail(work also if employed), phone number, family tree, credit report, health problems, prior arrests, and pictures, sad, sad pictures of a shell of a man in all of his lack of glory. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.

My current attitude towards chaptechie and my upcoming battle can be summed up in the words of my man KG

"It's Game 7, man. That's it. It's for all the marbles. Sitting in the house, I'm loadin' up the pump . I'm loadin' up the Uzi. I got a couple M-16s, a couple 9s. I got a couple joints with some silencers on them. I'm just loading clips, a couple grenades. I got a missile launcher with a couple of missiles. I'm ready for war."

Keep your boots laced for the second round chaps!

2006-06-15T13:52:00.000-05:00

England(B 1 seed), Germany(A), and Ecuador(A) are the first 3 teams to advance all with 6 points. Ecuador and Germany square up on Tuesday for their seeds a tie resulting in Ecuador being the 1 seed. I love them, They bury goals and their flag is their uniform basically, top to bottom, fucking sick. Don't even get me started on the Galapagos. I hope we don't hear anymore about their altitude advantage in qualifying. They've already proven they deserve respect, I'm sure they'd crush us.
Poland is eliminated as are Costa Rica and Paraguay. The only spot open is the second seed from group B (either T&T or Sweden). All I have to say is GO ENGLAND. Gotta root for someone after we get torched by the Azzuris.

-I knew then, that one day this picture would come in use as well as ruin my street cred(the little I possessed).

That "The Hills" Bitch

2006-06-14T19:23:00.000-05:00

Heidi is so evil and irritating she makes Omorosa and Janice Dickinson look like Dakota Fanning.

Screech Attack

2006-06-14T18:49:00.000-05:00

You may remember him as that shitty 'actor' on TV's Saved By The Bell. Today, he's a really shitty stand-up comedian. I really don't know what to say, but where do I cash in my "Dustin Diamond is going to be homeless" stock from '92. His stand up probably sucks but calling himself a "famous celebrity" almost made me poop my pants.

"Tell Arthur Giraldo that I just got served..."
-DMan

"I already smell homeless"

Hey Bruce....

2006-06-13T22:23:00.000-05:00

It's cliche to ask, "What if our best athletes played soccer?"

After out spanking by the Czechs, I had an idea (very different than my idea of sending the AND1 Mixtape team to represent us at the Olympics after our bronze medal in 2004).

I feel the need to start the "Put Tyrus Thomas in Goal" movement. I am serious. Looking at Kasey Keller lately has made want to cry. Anyone else feel like they are watching their father play? With all the lineup changes for game 2 on Saturday, Tyrus should immediately get a crash course in goaltending from and one besides Tony Meola. Then on the G5 Gulf Stream to Germany he goes to start on Saturday.

Just look at the comparison:
KASEY KELLER
Age: 36
Height: 6-2
Vertical Leap: Less than Tyrus Thomas
Quote: "We've come a long way in 15 years but we have a long way to go."(only one on the team even sniffing the "we".)
Potential: Completely bald

V.

TYRUS THOMAS

Age: 20
Height: 6-9
Vertical Leap: 38 inch (you know he can fly latterly too)
Quote: "Thomas' workout on Friday wasn't what I expected. There were no post moves. No flying dunks. In fact, Thomas didn't dunk the ball once in his workout." (yes that is his quote)
Potential: No ceiling

Real American Hero

2006-06-10T21:19:00.000-05:00

The First Squirrel Statue Winner is.......

He's my buddy, he's my pal. Y'all know the name"When I chirp shorty, chirp back."

2006-06-09T16:52:00.000-05:00

Got a new MySpace friend today. I didn't know who it was at first. Any guesses?

Without tivo......

2006-06-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

......I would have missed the second episode of The Hills.

I'm an L.C. fan.

CUP FEVER

2006-06-07T19:58:00.000-05:00

Well, 2 days until kickoff and I didn't make it to Deutschland for the World Cup. Well then, I hope my boss won't miss me for a couple of hours in the middle of each day. I really think that it will be us and Italy coming out of our group in two weeks. The Czechs are said to have a weak defense now and are not fully healthy.

Teams I am rooting for other than USA: England, Brazil, African teams

Why am I rooting for England and African teams? The country that invented the sport only once, 40 years ago, has held the cup. Popular belief is that they tend to pick their team based on reputation and not skill (Beckham as captain?). It's tough to win when you are constantly playing your 3rd or 4th best possible team. But I love the premiere league and Pick got me a balling jersey I will be sporting during every England game. I like watching the elite African strikers and their fun attacking style (Sameul Eto'o and Drogba are my homies). They have players you've never heard, but will love to say their names like MAMAM Cherif Toure and TCHANGAI Massamasso(I just call him awesome-o). This year, the nations who qualified are generally small and poor, some dealing with bloody civil wars. Think about it, it's the month of the millennium for these people ( Togo, Cote de'Ivoire). Nothing best of luck to them, and hopefully one of them could take a game from a big team and shake things up.

It's not just me, I know. Brazil seems like they are always having fun. Their players excel in every top league in Europe and they joga bonita. They also spotlight my two favorite names of the tournament. Kaka is one of the world’s best players and best names. It is custom in Brazil to go by one name but it's actually a nickname. His given name at birth was Ricardo, but his younger brother couldn't say it and apparently Kaka was the closest he could get and it stuck. The second is simply Fred I love it. How could you root against that?

Teams I am rooting against other than Mexico: Poland, Argentina, Germany

With Poland, come on, making fun of them is easier than shooting fish in a barrel. (Fish..Barrel...Bang).

The Argentineans (or something like that) are basically the opposite of Brazil. They play tough and ugly (I don't know the Portuguese for that), and have several players with ponytails. No need to rant on pony tails.

The Germans to me are annoying, and it's especially fun to root against them when they play teams like England and France. They aren't that good, but they get an advantage playing at home. They were much better when they had a giant concrete wall.

Let me know who you are rooting for and against.

No, Fuck You Snapple

2006-06-06T14:44:00.000-05:00

1957, if you were black and if you were an astronaut, you outta work.

2006-06-04T15:27:00.000-05:00

Just a brief "history" of the "other" space race. (Video) I never knew that the early days of NASA were whites only. It's about 10 mins long but here's a taste. MMMMMM

"I told Alita Monroe that I was working for NASSA, The Negro American Space Society of Astronauts, got laid that very night."

"It sure is fucking cold up here, yes sir. I about froze my mother fucking nuts off. God damn, space is one cold mother fucker. Sara, my love for you is deathless. It seems to bind me to you with cables that only omnipotence can break, but shit woman it is cold as fuck up here."

"Gordon Cooper, Buzz Aldridge....... could pass for white."

They shot Armageddon in space right?

Away with copper

2006-06-03T09:42:00.000-05:00

I'm all about the removal of the new penny legislation. I have hated pennys all of my life, actually to the point that touching them makes me gag. I kid you not, everything about a penny makes me sick, the feel, smell, and taste(that's ok right). (link) Finally I am not alone in the fight.

My Boy Santonio

2006-05-29T09:42:00.000-05:00

I guess we could be considered acquaintances, but I know for a fact I was his favorite kid in business law class. Can't wait to watch him ball out. Mos Def the only Steeler I will be rooting for. But this is just ridiculous (LINK).

This Guy Is Crazy

2006-05-26T15:08:00.000-05:00

Throw it down big man on the Sports Blogger Live. Heard that this is the best Interview they had. Go big red. It's pretty long but what else do you have to do

These are our hero's

2006-05-25T16:55:00.000-05:00

Original Tenacious D(uo)

2006-05-24T21:00:00.000-05:00

You all know I love Steve and Dirk (first post).

....but apparently they love Simon

Texas Bling

2006-05-24T16:36:00.000-05:00

Texas athletic department officials for the player whose ring is being auctioned. Now it is a violation of NCAA rules for a player to sell their ring but, the seller, who would not give a name, told the paper that both rings were obtained from former player or players directly. The same person is auctioning a Longhorn ring from the 2003 Holiday Bowl. The title ring is pictured below. (Link to the national championship ring on eBay) Bidding for the title ring ended at $10,100. The reserve was not met and the item has a buy it now price of $20,000 .

My guess is it's former running back Ramonce Taylor. You know he owes one of Paul Wall's homies for that five pounds of weed he got caught with in the pecan fields.

(for 20,ooo I better get the blue Pentz glove replica too)

Congratulations

2006-05-23T14:52:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to make an announcement about the future union of Cassandra and Corey. Yes, my little sister Cassy is getting married. The engagement is official, date still pending(I hear some couples do it the other way).

Oh ya, Corey if you read this, your sister is hot. Can't wait to see her at all the family events, wasted.

The Idol Battle

2006-05-22T17:02:00.000-05:00

One uniton the line for Idol Final. The battle begins tomorrow!

Squirrel Vs Clay

Squirrel+145
Clay-190

Mcphee Vs Hicks

Katherine McPhee +145

Taylor Hicks -190

Anything for a couple hours out of work!

2006-05-19T14:43:00.000-05:00

This is my relay team for the State's Govenors Fitness Challenge, I'd never met any of these women before and have no idea how they picked me to be on their team. Why did every other team have at least two men? How did I not hurt myself on the wet grass? Why did I talk the most shit out of any employee?

I gotta do something to get my street cred back up soon....

....well last night was a step in the right direction

Original Prankster of the Month

2006-05-18T14:39:00.000-05:00

(click to zoom)

After minutes in the think tank I figured out who it was, it's always nice to know someone's worrying about my cervix even when I am not.
One day I'll clap back!
But for now, Congratulations Lauren Holtvoight. I will probably never think of anything as clever, but if I do you're reward is to be the recipient......Oh yah and this horse trophy.....

"I'd like to thank my boyfriend Matt, for his beautiful laugh. Always inspirational"

Live Champions League Final Blog (Fuck you if you don't like sports)

2006-05-17T14:17:00.001-05:00

0:00 Barcelona and Arsenal are about to kick off in what is probably the most anticipated match up in Champions league finals ever. I'm really excited about this, the premeirship was pretty uneventful this year with Chelsea dominating it. It seems like the leagues are becoming so top heavy. Bayern Munich in Germany, Lyon in France, PSV in Netherlands, AC Milan in Italy, Barcelona in Spain.

2:53 Henry almost buried one, Pick is on his way to owing me one dollar. That Rhonaldino lover.

4:20 You know what I did, and you know why I did it. (you ever seen soccer? you ever seen soccer on weed man?)

6:36 Marcella Balboas in the booth?? He doesn't have an accent....get him out of there.

9:45 Arsenals better on the defensive side....You hear that Brian?

11:32 I'm sick of seeing Ashley Cole get burnt on the side, I hate most all Ashleys!(Oakes, Oliver, Parker Angel)

15:22 Arsenal is going to put one in soon, I can feel it.

17:45 What other sport can you hear an announcer say "That was traveling at a fair weight of knots" and "the boot to the big ball down the middle, that's four times I've counted it that long ball"

20:00 Whoa, red card, called off the goal, new goalie, and Picks boy taking a free kick oh no.

24:23 Brazil is going to crush at the World Cup, They have two or three players on most of the teams mentioned at the top.

26:06 Sol Campbell is a horse. I'm pretty sure he would be a star in any sport in America.

28:22 Just witnessed history apparently....First person ever to get sent off in Champions League Final....Witness..

30:00 I'm freaking out man, it's about to storm.

31:49 What Nationality is Hleb

37:00 GGGG.G.G.G.GGOOOOOAAALLLL GOOOOAAAALLLLL MY BOY SOOOOOLLLLLL!!!! Playin with a one man disadvantage, that was "'huh-yuge", for soccer, that was "huh-yuge"

43:25 Wow he just punched the guy in the face out there and got a free kick. Double hell no.

44:23 Looks like Claborn out there on defense for Arsenal, tenatious defending haha. (It's raining now, gotta winamp some Hilary Duff) 4 mins of extra time doesnt really mean anything in the first half, right?

45:00 Whoaaaa WoodWork! I always dominated with Eto'o in FIFA.

Half time
It's exciting to be up 1-0 on Brian and watch kids walk home in this monsoon. Gonna drive to class to turn in my homework so I can come back and get wasted For Gern's B Day and watch the LeBron show.

Rocked out to some Fort Minor over half time.

48:00 Good thing Deco keeps plugging the back up goalie in the chest.

53:25 God DAMNIT ASHLEY COLE, youre going to cost me a dollar, I will hunt you down and I don't want it from Banco de Espana

55:49 Rhonaldino and free kicks scare me.

57:55 Actually every time Rhonaldino gets the ball I think he's going to score, He's probably murder on the dance floor as well.

63:00 I'm seriously considering this; If Arsenal holds on and wins, I want to call Pick and tell him that I owe him a dollar. Then when he watches the game and there is only one goal and it is in the first half. I can hear him now "the goals never came...... the goals never came"

66:00 Thierry Henry is my favorite player, bar none

66:10 Claborn and Pick are headed here and I guess I'm restarting the game, Hold the fuck on Arsenal. 11 on 10 shit.

2006-05-16T18:45:00.000-05:00

Badjocks.com is the equivalent of The Smoking Gun for athletes. Want to find out about "Ron Mexico"? Well, the site certainlyshook things up by posting the Northwestern girls soccer initiation photos. Initiation makes them look like a bunch of lesbians...

do not fret, they have more work to do...

"Coming Wednesday: The Dirty Dozen - Twelve more colleges will have initiation pictures posted right here tomorrow. We can't reveal their names (what fun would that be?) but among them is a set showing a lacrosse team with a stripper. Not THAT lacrosse team, but these pics will make a sailor blush. Put your bets down now if you think your school will make the Final Twelve!"

2006-05-15T20:20:00.000-05:00

I AM A WITNESS

Parallels

2006-05-13T11:25:00.000-05:00

In case you don't understand.

Sir Gnarles

2006-05-12T23:22:00.001-05:00

About a week ago I downloaded a couple songs by a band named Gnarles Barkley. "Crazy" is proof in my mind that great music does not need to be complex to be great. From first listen of the simple bass beat, southern funky soul voice and great hook, it was stuck in my head.

Gnarles Barkley is the brain child of Englands musical mastermind DJ Dangermouse (produced both Grey Album and Gorillaz Demon Days). He recruited Cee-Lo for the vocals. I can barley find anything out about this project. It seems there was no no press, an unworking website, and neither artist will answer questions about the release. They also have a killer Violent Femmes Cover. Thanks to youtube.com; here is the song and video. (Gnarles Barkley- Crazy) (Great video too, watch in full screen)

Facebooking the Future's.....

2006-05-12T15:10:00.000-05:00

Part six of our nineteen part series

My "Friend" Joseph Addai
First round pick of the Indianapolis Colts

Land Phone:

911

Favorite Music:

Z-Ro

Favorite Movies:

Paid in Full

Favorite Quotes:

Everybody is gonna eat!

Facebooking the Future's.....

2006-05-10T13:51:00.000-05:00

Part five of our nineteen part series.

My "Friend" John McCargo
First round draft pick to the Buffalo Bills

AIM Screenname:

bigsmooth3274

Interests:

Sports, Chess, Cards, Playstation

Favorite Movies:

White Chicks, Blade 2, Scary Movie, Ray, Saw

Favorite Quotes:

Bad Body Ass!!

More on the Cup Quest

2006-05-09T21:20:00.000-05:00

Strengths:
No team at the World Cup will be fitter, quicker or more experienced than the USA excluding Brazil as We are building on our quarterfinals results in Korea/Japan in 2002. More importantly we have three good goalkeepers in Kasey Keller, Tim Howard and Marcus Hahnemann (Goalie Goalie Goalie).
Two of my favorite players, DaMarcus Beasley and Landon Donovan combined with Brian McBride and Claudio Reyna should be able to produce on offense. (Landon chalked up 6 goals and 6 assists in the qualifying round) Having finished ahead of Mexico as well as playing out of our minds in three qualifying matches. Despite losing to qualifiers Costa Rica, we won our region for the first time in history.

Weaknesses:
We have "bad luck" playing European teams (specifically Eastern European teams). The USA will need to have a particularly strong showing in their first two games against the Czech Republic and Italy. One of the drawbacks for the USA side is that they do not play world-class teams on a regularly in CONCAF; resulting in our getting dominated.

"USA World Cup 2006 Outlook:
With experience to spare, nothing less than going deep into the tournament is acceptable for Arena's team. Even with a familiar group of new players and the old soccer campaigners from the 2002 edition still together, the USA will have an uphill battle against a very tough draw. If the USA advances to the second round, and that is a very big IF, This team would meet a team from Group F (Brazil, Croatia, Australia and Japan) in either Kaiserslautern (June 26) or Dortmund (June 27). In recent World Cup memory, the USA made it through to the knockout stages when hosting the tournament in 1998 and made thequarterfinals at the last World Cup, so this team knows how to win in Round 1. But they have also never had as difficult a draw as they will in Germany. Let's hope for the USA's sake history does not repeat itself."

(http://www.docsports.com/world-cup/USA-world-cup-2006.html)

Facebooking the Future's.....

2006-05-09T15:48:00.000-05:00

Part four of our nineteen part series.

My "Friend" Andrew Whitworth
Second round pick of the CINCINNATI BENGALS

Favorite Movies:

All The Rocky's

Favorite Books:

Bible

Favorite Quotes:

I once felt sorry for myself because I had no shoes, until I met the man with no
feet!

About Me:

I dominate mike peterson on the golf course. Also, I dominate Brad Womack, David
Caldwell, Mike Johnson, and Reid Uzee. I completely own Scott "All in"
Sorales at every phase of sports, not just the golf course.

Charles Vs Blaine

2006-05-09T15:22:00.000-05:00

Sir Charles Barkley, Drowned alive.

Well close to reaching the 7 min mark. Blame it on Kenny, blame it on Kenny(SDot shakes his head)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RN_YknAryS0&eurl

Re-visiting menage-a-trois

2006-05-07T14:26:00.000-05:00

He has done it! With a little help from his friends, my friends, and the legions of men realizing that they could have came up with this (maybe having a girlfriend is a pre-requisite), our friend has received 2 million hits and is currently searching for a female to join him and his girlfriend in bed. A bet is a bet, and she better not renig.

http://www.helpwinthisbet.com/
http://mind-nuggets.blogspot.com/2006/04/menage-trois.html

Facebooking the Future's.....

2006-05-07T13:10:00.000-05:00

Part three of our nineteen part series

My "Friend" Joe Klopfenstein
Second Round Pick of the St. Louis Rams

Favorite Music:

Korn, Metallica, Rammstein, Static X, Godsmack, Slipknot, Disturbed, Mudvayne, Fear Factory, Dave Mathews, Doobie Brothers, Journey, Linkin Park, Nine Inch Nails, Phil Collins, Tom Petty

Favorite Books:

Arnold Schwarzenegger - The Encyclopedia of Body Building

Facebooking the Future's.....

2006-05-06T11:03:00.000-05:00

Part two of our nineteen part series...........

My "Friend" Tamba HALI
First Round Pick of the Kansas City Chiefs

Favorite Books:

Revelation and Matthew in the Bible

Tamba's Groups:

Da Chamilitary - Chamillionaire is the answer to the game like Allen I .....
ann arbor is a dirty whore who can't keep her legs closed

Facebooking the Future's Begins Today

2006-05-05T15:06:00.000-05:00

Part one to what will hopefully be a nineteen part series...........

My "Friend" Roman Harper
Second pick of second round, to the New Orleans Saints.

Favorite Movies:

Troy, Friday, Blade I and II, Any given Sunday, and Underworld

About Roman:

"I am a cool ass mother fuckin dude holla I am on the phone let me hit you back."

Goalie Goalie Goalie

2006-05-05T10:23:00.001-05:00

All from Europe, definitely our postition deepest in talent.

Kasey Keller
Club: Borussia MÃ¶nchengladbach (German Bundesliga)
Hometown: Olympia, Washington
Caps: 90
International shutouts: 44
Height - 6'2" Weight - 190 lbs.
Born - November 29, 1969
College- University of Portland

Our starter, for sure.Definitelyy our most internationally experienced player in the U.S. pool, Kasey Keller spent a large amount of time playing in England and Spain, quickly becoming one of the top goalkeepers in the world. I really like how consistent he is in the net. Keller has been a part of some of the greatest wins in U.S. history, including shutouts of international giants Argentina (twice) and Brazil. Another impressive stat is he started every league and cup match (41) for Tottenham and played every single minute; one of five goalkeepers to do this in the English Premier.
Hard rock and heavy metal music are a favorite of Keller who is often seen at rock concerts.

"That is the best performance by a goalkeeper I have ever seen in a match that I
have played in."
Brazilian striker Romario, on Keller's performance after
Brazil's 1-0 loss to the U.S. in 1998.

Marcus Hahnemann
Club: Reading (English First Division)
Hometown: Seattle, Wash.
Caps: 5
International shutouts: 1
Height - 6' 2" Weight - 220 lbs
Born - June 15, 1972
High School - Newport High School
College - 1993 Graduate of Seattle Pacific University

Really didn't know much about Marcus Hahnemann until recntly. Apparently he has worked his way up from Division II college soccer all the way to the English Premier League in his long playing career.

He's a tall, imposing keeper who Fulham snatched up, but his time at Craven Cottage was short and unproductive, and he was on his way to Reading in 2002. There, he led the Royals to an improbable charge that almost took them to the Premier League. Said to be a thinking man's player, Hahnemann knows the game and its history as well as anyone.

Tim Howard
Club: Manchester United (English Premier League)
Hometown: North Brunswick, New Jersey
Caps: 15
International shutouts: 5
Height - 6'3"
Weight - 210
Born - March 6, 1979
High School - North Brunswick High School

Howard is emerging as the heir apparent to Kasey Keller's rein as National Team goalkeeper. He's as exciting as a goalkeeper can be and his recent move to Manchester United speaks highly of his skills and work ethic. Timis also widely considered the finest basketball player in MLS or Europe.

Unintentionally funny tidbit -
Tim Howard lives with Tourrete Syndrome

For more information on Tourette Syndrome,

click on these links tourette-syndrome.com

or http://www.tourettesguy.com/videos.htm

Facebooking the Future's

2006-05-03T12:12:00.000-05:00

So I got to thinking the other day how the NFL draftees, although man sized, are still young adults just like ourselves. My mind then wandered to how hot of girls they are friends with. Today kid's and young adults have so many outlets of expression, the most popular on the internet now being Facebook. As a football enthusiast, and a multiple poster on Fries' wall, I wanted to know which of the top picks had profiles.
While searching I realized that I couldn't actually view any of their pictures or profiles..........

..........so a notification has been sent to the following to confirm friendship. I will go from there with posting findings and pictures.

Round 1

Mario Williams
Vernon Davis
Reggie Bush
Jay Cutler
Brodrick Bunkley
Tamba Hali
Laurence KoolAid Maroney
(yes, this is how it appears on facebook)
Haloti Ngata
Deangelo Williams
Mathias Kiwanuka

Round 2

Chad Jackson
Winston Justice
Roman Harper
Joe Klopfenstein
Anthony Fasano
Andrew Whitworth
Devin Hester
Maurice Drew

Undrafted

Marcus Vick

World Cup Makes Me Wet

2006-05-02T20:19:00.000-05:00

Today we got our official roster for World Cup 2006 (Operation Domination) in Germany. Over the next couple of days I'll be giving you a little background information on our players. They will be playing on the world's biggest stage soon, as if that isn't enough for some street cred, they have a chance of doing very well this year! This is barring a second round against the defending champs, and Cup favorites Brazil. For now here is the roster, I'll start with the goalies tomorrow and work my way through the positions.

The 2006 U.S. Men's National Team FIFA World Cup roster:

GOALKEEPERS:
Marcus Hahnemann
Tim Howard
Kasey Keller

DEFENDERS:
Carlos Bocanegra
Steve Cherundolo
Jimmy Conrad
Cory Gibbs
Frankie Hejduk
Eddie Lewis
Oguchi Onyewu
Eddie Pope

MIDFIELDERS:
DaMarcus Beasley
Bobby Convey
Clint Dempsey
Landon Donovan
Pablo Mastroeni
John O'Brien
Ben Olsen
Claudio Reyna

FORWARDS:
Brian Ching
Eddie Johnson
Brian McBride
Josh Wolff

2006-05-02T07:48:00.000-05:00

Youtube.com is the greatest site ever. This is the post Clippers TNT shootaround. I don't know which is better, Charles asking Ernie where he gets his cookies from, or Shaggy Kaman telling the media that they can go ahead and say balls, its ok. "He grabbed my balls"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFcinlrgojk

2006-05-01T15:01:00.000-05:00

If this guy can get his wife to agree to this contract (100% slave) , getting enough female votes for my "End Women's Suffrage" campaign should be cake.

2006-04-30T13:39:00.000-05:00

Downloaded the newest Prince CD the other day "3121". I'm considering deleting it after seeing this. Now I'm not mad that he's in a wheel chair, but why isn't the Rascal purple?

Menage-a-trois

2006-04-30T12:07:00.001-05:00

Never call your boyfriend an idiot. This kid is the pimp of the week. (I'd give his girl a 6.5, nothing another girl can not fix)

http://www.helpwinthisbet.com/404/

When a Hypothesis becomes a theory

2006-04-30T08:12:00.000-05:00

Look's like I was right in my analysis. "Douche's live in New Jersey" has some validity to it.

http://www.ancestry.com/search/SurnamePage.aspx?sourcecode=13304&html=b&fn=&ln=douche&submit.x=0&submit.y=0

The Family Business.

Knowlege is Power

2006-04-30T08:00:00.000-05:00

I'm tired of worrying about what VD a chickenhead I'm trying to hook up with may or may not have. Anyone else? Now it's possible to choose. Get an account if you're looking to get some (and a lil extra on top). http://www.stdsingles.com/

Under Armour

2006-04-29T12:46:00.001-05:00

We Must Protect this HOUUSE. A.J., D'Angelo, and Vern looked huge at every commercial break. I think they averaged the same commercial about 8 times in 4 hrs. Click click clack, is that the sound verns gun makes when he makes it speak?

Friday

2006-04-29T10:32:00.000-05:00

Drinking Wizard did it's job once again last night. Started drinking with Hank and Colleen and the X last night. Hank's always drinking rolling rock for some reason so I joined. This made the 32oz wizards Labatt delicious. All three of them. Do not remember much about the basketball game last night, but I pulled myself together to focus for LeBron's game winner. May have been a travel. (Mind says yes, heart says good no call ref). The Wiz's open three at the end almost made me poop myself. 2-1 Cavs.

May have spent all my money last night, had I gone to Vanity. I've never dabbled in the strip clubs , but from what I hear, if you like titties, you like Vanity. Maybe another Friday. Instead Gern, Tom, Pick and I rocked out to some busta rhymes 9 minute with a medley other thugs and rappers. Started the car to take Tom and 1/3 of the young guns home and the music was LOUD. Either we all had been temporarily deaf , or that it's just a great fucking song. (busta rhymes- touch it (remix pt. 2))

I think there were some jaeger shots between bars. It seemed like a good idea at the time. I do not remember much of Hendocs at all. Tried to hit on Molly, she's gotta think I'm a lush. I think it's easier to pimp her when Clay's around, he got game. I think I may have gotten mad at the bar because Tom and Gern took, what in my wasted world, took a half hour. Got home, have no clue if Pick was awake. I tried to wait up for the other two but that is where the fuzzy gets black. I remember being asked by Gern if I wanted Jimmy Johns but can't remember actually being able to speak back. Woke up with everything on from last night except my pants. I never can recall making a conscious decision about going to bed on Friday nights, guess I have to keep trying......

Gun's are bad mmmmkay

2006-04-28T12:10:00.000-05:00

I don't know if you have seen this before but i was just doing some smokinggun surfing and came across something so amazing. It's a DEA agent who is now sueing for the relese of this taped presentation for students. (click here)

Mr. only one in the room professional enough to carry a glock .4. Accident's happen, they happen. This is one tough mother fucker. I'm sure the second gun was not loaded either, fuck.

A walk with Max

2006-04-28T11:09:00.000-05:00

Went to my parents house today and picked up my dog to bring back to campus and park it up(I need some sun). He starts alot of conversations, either by baffling people on what breed he is or digging nose in hot girl ass. The opposite sex is wooed by him. While a huge percent of Americans will pet a dog or at least not shy away from him, some freeze up like Pentz got to them. Today more than any past I saw that African and Asian Americans would rather walk in the street and get hit by a car then the chance of having a 60 lb dogs tail brush their leg. It's crazy, I swear a group of tourists crossed the street and back just to avoid this lovable beast. I wonder if his feelings are hurt, you know being treated like a leper. I bet they wouldn't even let Maximillion go to their schools or restaurants. Blasphemy.

That's why to make him feel better we shared a bottle of ice mountain as soon as we got home. No I did not pour it in a bowl, he drank straight out of the bottle before me. Wanted to let my dog know that just because some people have misconceptions and stereotypes for him, I don't view the world that way. Dog is man's best not an asian, theres a reason.
We even share our drugs!

The Big Show (Friday's)

2006-04-28T08:37:00.000-05:00

I really never had a 8 hour a day, get up at the ass crack of dawn, all work week job until 4 months ago. It really put a dent in the 4 night a week showing of the squirrel shit show. Ya, I know, drinking four nights is terrible you say. I say it was fucking amazing.(seemed to get more pussy then)
Now the weekend has become "time lost". It's like the drinking God's are upset or miss me crying for me to go back to church.(Many churches around Columbus celebrate the God of beer) Must appease the drinking god's.

Friday's now, I get after it. All my friends get after it. I can pick out a handful of people who will make sure you drink as much as you can on any given night, but not Pick. He makes damn sure that I match pace drinking beers. Every beer he downs he's in my ear letting me know I'm behind, throwing out the "what's wrong playboy? You're slowing down." AND this is where the script of "the show" begins...

a little back ground information:
Friday nights are Drinking Wizard night's (I believe the establishment likes to call itself the winking lizard, thats a stupid fucking name) LABATT BLUE, 32oz, $4. They know what they are doing.

So the first beer usually goes down a little rough, but it seems like once you get 32oz of Blue in your stomach the clouds open up and you can drink all night. The unfortunate thing is we can never make it at the lizard late enough to take home a hood rat. Maybe it is because of the kick off time of 6 or that we really can not drink as much as we think. (i.e. me throwing up Saturday's to get over a hang over just to start drinking at noon for whatever sporting event is on.) But some how we make it home.(don't ask) Get home and everyone is does their between round routine(I don't need a cut man until later in the night). Cracking open another beer, taking a shit, taking a shower, changing, bingers, anything you can and want to do to get ready to go back out. Now I'm off on foot to see if I can keep my eyes open long enough to see some titties and not hurt myself. It's ridiculous, I think I'd pass on sex with Pam Anderson for an extra night a week at the wizard (Bethel rd. Ladies).

So at The Drinking Wizard is where the stories always begin. I have several old tales of my nights but here, on this blog, you only know me from today. So begins the "Fucked up Friday's" stories (posted Saturday morning). Nicknames will be used, if an incriminating photo shall arise faces will be blurred out, but the stories will not be embellished . I couldn't make this stuff up anyway.

Dynasty

S.

Jonathan Lipniki was a Drinking Wizard mascot before making it big.

Semi-multi-talented

2006-04-27T17:29:00.000-05:00

I'm going to find my Bo Jackson poster, he was named to the all-star game of two major sports, 1/3 of the ProStars. Neon Deion was the only Cowboy I could tolerate,at least he had the Reds. Those are two in recent memory, how about recent attempts.

Now here is a lad that has been in the MLB and NFL, Drew Henson. Since being a wolverine(Fuck them), yankee(Fuck the yankees), and cowboy(tic-tac-toe of hate) his life has put him in Rheine (Germany). If I had been living in Michigan, and Texas, X-Nazi Germany would have a nice ring to it.

So what does Drew do when he loses an outlet like baseball? Well he starts a diary for nfleurope.com. I'm actually under the impression that he was asked to do this. (It's not customary in Germany to accept any offer is it?) Drew, a diary is where a 10 year old girl going through puberty keeps her secrets. He just joined the ranks of Bridget Jones.... and every heart broken girl on www.mydeardiary.com

http://nfleurope.com/teams/story/RHE/9400422

DREW KNOWS! (I think this kid missed Drew's reason for leaving)
http://www.umich.edu/~uac/threeweeks/Volume2.9/henson.html

Drew Henson's mother can't read!

Mean Muggin

2006-04-26T23:44:00.000-05:00

I've recently noticed the emergence of the mean mug in sports, most notably the NBA. Mean mugging, as described by www.theurbandictionary.com, is

"Mean muggin' (v.): When someone gives you a not-so-nice look, like they're ready to throw some hands.

Or, as it applies to basketball: Unsatisfied with posterizing a defender with a dunk, you then immediately want to punch them in the face.""

It's outstanding. A non physical face shove while giving their girlfriend the shocker(to opponents ege). A mean mug could potentially start another melee reminice of the Piston/Pacers show. It has not caught on with all of the all stars yet in the Association and I've seen it sparingly in other sports, but it's spreading faster than bird flu (wasn't that supposed to be here 6 months ago?). So Keep an eye on this, You have to see it live to understand the love I feel for the mean mug.

Did LeBron invent the Mean Mug in high school?

p.s.
My roomate and I(we'll call him Cletus) have actually used the mean mug in recent months. No we are not in the NBA, but we fucking serve people on the dance floor, then mean mug this shit out of them until they walk away hanging their heads.

Congratulations, It's another delinquent

2006-04-26T18:24:00.000-05:00

I read today on newsweek.com that Brittany Spears is pregnant AGAIN! K Fed may be talentless (I don't hear and argument) but he's got "supersperm" as Meth would say. How old is Lil K Fed mini? 6 months? I think in the care of his parents the baby has repeatedly had its birth flash before it's eyes. Now they are going to bring a second spawn upon us. I was under the impression that her last marriage lasted under 3 days. There are going to be some emotional and mental problems arising for one of the two Spearsians. Guaranteed slut and druggieie ala Evie Zamora in Thirteen. (Damn that is a fucked up movie, could only watch it once.) Its to be expected with a once hot and talented mother and a semi retarded, everything I do is unintentionally funny father with a race identity crisis. Why would this be the first post made here? Who cares what happens to their little bastards? My reason is far more obnoxious.

Ya, I think that is called crowning. Have you seen this? Where the hell does a sculptor get off doing this? Did the Spears' ask this guy for this one "favor"? Is no topic to heavy for K Fed when it comes to the vagina? Ask your mother next time you see her if that was how you were born. I bet not.

Did the artist already have this doggy style Brittany spank piece and think "before my wife catches me I'll slap a belly and a baby dome on it and call it art, damn it's stuck to the bear skin rug" (Better Explanation? Post 'em if you got 'em)

Imagine when this kid goggles his family tree in 10 year's (God, let google prosper) they will not only get to see the above pic, but also come to find out that your dad was worse than vanilla ice.

Please if you are in a position of power, keep the kids safe, take them away.

Started because....

2006-04-18T11:33:00.000-05:00

.....Because in this instance I am a trendy pussy, just this once. HOWEVA, I do not have a Razor phone yet. Here, I will be archiving what I feel are the "web gems" of the web and sharing my meaningless opinion on current events. In the near future I will post some things about myself as well.

Dynasty.

S.

"More mind-nuggets are on their way Steve. Chill!"